Anchored
Helping families navigate what it looks like to build disciples at home.
Anchored
Building Habits to Guard Your Kids and Family from Anxiety
In this heart-to-heart conversation, we dig into six powerful practices that naturally guard against anxiety in family life. These aren't complicated strategies requiring special training, but simple rhythms you can begin implementing today.
That's right. Anchored Family Ministry Podcast coming back at you. Welcome back, yes, exciting. The boys are back in town, plus Jennifer Dooley, paul Allen, our discipleship pastor. I am Daniel Neuendorfer. We're here coming back at you after a long hiatus. Anchored Family Ministry Podcast. How are y'all doing, jennifer? How are you?
Speaker 2:Doing great. I'm so excited. I've already posted. Podcast day is back.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love podcast day. School year has started and things are moving and got kids in three different schools, so we have elementary middle and high school, so that's fun in the morning and afternoon for drop off and pick up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, quite, the spread.
Speaker 2:We got a cat since we were here last. His name is Pax.
Speaker 1:Was that by chance, or did it just show up?
Speaker 2:No, we purposely got him. He's orange and I've never had an orange cat before, but they're a lot.
Speaker 3:I've heard they're like more playful crazier.
Speaker 2:Daily. Someone has marks, or Tim looked like he had a piercing for a little while where Pax got him in the ear. He's so much fun, though. He fits perfectly with our family.
Speaker 1:He's a lot of fun.
Speaker 2:But yeah, so that's what's going on with us excellent. Yeah, yeah, they're dumb. I've heard that he's super dumb. Yeah, he runs into things. He like tries to climb the wall or the doorframe and I just start yelling parkour and I make the most of it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, paul, how are you doing? I'm doing great.
Speaker 3:So much has happened since last time's almost I don't like to even think about it honestly.
Speaker 3:I don't know, maybe I was being disciplined for not podcasting, I don't know. But we've been through a lot man that badly, but it was bad enough that it scared us pretty good and there were some injuries just me and my wife. But we've recovered from that. But it was in the midst of a season where we were caring for aging family members who were nearing death moms and stepmoms and folks like that. So a lot of stuff kind of coincided. But through that season we've had great things happening too. And kids off at college, one graduated, now engaged, getting married I can't remember where we left off on podcast, but engaged and now wedding, less than 30 days from now getting married, and youngest daughter started ninth grade at the high school. So yeah, a lot's gone on Title change, I'm family pastor and discipleship and Sunday school Is it both? Both and All? And Sunday school Is it both?
Speaker 1:Both and All of it together. I thought it was just discipleship.
Speaker 2:I'm kids now, not preschool and children. I'm kids.
Speaker 3:Yeah, kids ministry. I like that, I love it yeah.
Speaker 2:I didn't realize that's a really short time frame to have all those things happen.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and we didn't even bring up AI.
Speaker 1:Oh no oh no, the nation's been through a lot, right indeed the world's changed.
Speaker 3:Yeah, oh, you got quite the spread too.
Speaker 1:We're talking about high school, middle school, elementary, but you got adult being married, college student, high school student, so wow and kind of like we're getting a new daughter too, which is really cool.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so our family's starting to grow actually again, right, yeah, we got like one at home now at ninth grader and one about to leave home, so we'll be back down to just three in the house, which will be neat, kind of like she gets to be the only child for a minute yeah but then our family's kind of expanding and we're going to go to dinner at their house. Now I guess I don't know what that'll be like yeah, that'd be cool.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's crazy. Well, um, yeah, we're jumping back in long hiatus and I think we're going to go to what once a month here.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm going to be excited, just uh, talking with everyone online about, uh, how to disciple their kids at home kind of drill down, more like what's going on with life in that month, obviously right now, with it being September-ish, probably when this is coming out back to school and habits, and so that lends itself to certain topics, and then throughout the year we're just going to kind of look at months to months. So hopefully this will be very applicable for families when it comes out as to what they're dealing with in that season, right?
Speaker 1:So yeah, Well, take us into the topic.
Speaker 3:All right, so we thought we would dive into habits that guard against anxiety. I guess you could say it's a buzzword, but it's one of those things that, unfortunately, has become an epidemic. Jennifer and I are both talking about our families, and at least three out of five, yeah three out of five in. Both of our families struggle at different levels, and probably five out of five obviously deal with anxiety, but some more so to where they actually, you know, we've got counseling, we've got all sorts of stuff.
Speaker 3:Right About one in nine children, one in four adolescents, experience anxiety and it's really going up, especially since covid well, I know I saw stats years ago about social media and girls that it was increasing more so among girls, teenagers, young girls because of social media, but I think that's spreading over to guys now too.
Speaker 2:Yes, just as much yeah, it says gender disparities exist, with girls showing higher diagnosed rates of anxiety. But you know, diagnosed rates isn't always a true picture of who's really experiencing it Right, everybody.
Speaker 3:And when we deal with this stuff, I mean obviously we're a church, we're believers, we're conservative, bible-believing folks. So anytime we're talking about a problem, we're going to go and say the root of that problem and that struggle is always sin somewhere. And so you know, I mean the Bible tells us not to be anxious for anything, but in everything, by prayer, petition, with thanksgiving, let your request be made known to God, and the peace of God that transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. So that's the ideal. I mean, that's where I want to live and often get to live there, but because of worry, fear, I don't know crazy pressures.
Speaker 3:I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that we are now living in more of a global context where you know our brains are designed, I think, to deal with a small community of problems, right when you hear about something tragic happening over here. I mean, just on my street. We only have a few homes on my street, but that's enough. Yes, right with that, right, we've had some really difficult things and loss of children and all sorts of things just on our street. But then you add into that you go get online and scroll and see that somebody else died because they slipped on an ice cube, and this person had this crazy thing happen with their health. And all of a sudden you're overwhelmed, and so either you can choose to like shut that stuff off and not ignore it, but then it just it's kind of everywhere People are just walking around on edge.
Speaker 2:I've struggled with anxiety. It's a lot better now, but mine's always like I hear some kind of crazy thing has happened to somebody and I'm like that's probably what I have, you know, and if I don't have it now, I'm going to. So it's everywhere. And if I'm having those thoughts, I know other people are and things that my kids struggle with, and yeah, it's just overwhelming.
Speaker 3:Yeah. So as parents, obviously keeping in check our own anxieties, that could be a whole nother episode, but we want to look at. We're back to school now. That means schedules, that means habits, that means busyness. People are busy and that's understandable. We were trying to look at our calendar and not over schedule or whatever, but it just it's a busy time and so a lot of times we just kind of start to form habits that can actually even build anxiety Right, and so we want to talk about wise things that God can bring into our families to help guard against anxiety. So we were just brainstorming some and Jennifer and I came up with a few really practical things. One that I feel like has helped our family probably the most or at least you know it's just real consistent is prayer together, the habit of praying together, and I'm not talking about like sitting down holding hands in a living room.
Speaker 3:I wish we would, maybe I don't know but, we do occasionally, but it's more like the habit of every morning. I drop off the kids, I'm praying for them before they get out of the car and it's almost hey, I get it. You know, it's just like hey, Lord bless this school. Thank you for a good night's sleep. You know, just watch out for this school. You know, give Macy, or whoever, just wisdom and strength and bless her friendships. Boom, whatever. But in some mornings I might be, you know, in a hurry and almost forget. But just making that where we don't miss, miss it. That's a habit. Praying over meals is a big deal. That we take time to pray over meals, Something unusual coming up like a test or some stress. I want to be sure we take time to pray over that. And then two, one thing that we've gotten used to is praying like before we go on a trip, like even up to Atlanta driving through Atlanta traffic Dangerous as craziness.
Speaker 3:We're just driving through Fayetteville traffic honestly but just praying God, watch over us and protect us as we go and the other vehicles around us Bless our trip and our kids when they drive off to school or college. They're kind of waiting, like you're going to pray for me. Come on, yeah, let's pray over this vehicle, pray over you.
Speaker 2:Do you usually lead the prayer? Do y'all take turns or does it depend on the situation?
Speaker 3:yeah, I usually do it, but lately I've noticed jayden every once in a while. You know he'll pray uh, or be willing to pray over stuff, and I'm sure any of them would what do you think about, like, when we do those things, we pray over meals.
Speaker 2:okay, so we've got some, some uh rote prayers that we may say how? Do you feel about those?
Speaker 3:I mean like the kids saying it. Yeah, kids say it, god is great, god is good.
Speaker 2:Tegan, thank you for the food before us, the family beside us and the love between us.
Speaker 3:Amen I think that's great, okay, but I think it's cool, every once in a while probably, to say hey, yeah, mix that up. Well, mix it up. Or why do we say that? What did we just say? Let's go back. It's kind of like singing songs on Sunday. If you think about the words, you're like, wow, that's powerful. But sometimes you're just singing them.
Speaker 2:No, I love it. I love hearing him say that. So, I just get your take on it.
Speaker 3:Cool. So yeah, praying together, and you'll notice, I think, all three of the ones, I think that's a big anxiety destroyer is togetherness, especially as a family, as much as you're able.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've noticed in my kids like one of them specifically, like if something different is happening or you know, something happens at school with a friend or even with a sibling.
Speaker 3:Can we?
Speaker 1:just can we just pray about that.
Speaker 3:That's awesome, yeah, we can, let's do it.
Speaker 2:That's great, that's a big one, and we'll go right along with that and say scripture, now we have. I will say there have been phases and times as a family that we have really had a dedicated time daily, that as a family we are doing some kind of devotion together. Some of those phases kind of fade away, you know, with schedules getting so busy, and so we've encouraged all of them, of course, to do that on your own. But when you're doing it together, like it's not just that they're seeing the kids are seeing parents do it, but like you're in it together, you're learning things together, You're discovering things together, you're asking questions together and you're seeing together that your source of hope, your source of truth, your source of truth, your source of life is the Lord and you're getting to read His Word. And so when those anxieties hit I'm not going to say easier, because it's not easier, but you know what you're built on then.
Speaker 2:And I have a friend and she has a daughter who truly does struggle with anxiety, and she was telling me a few days ago. She said, when she's getting in one of those phases and she sees it coming with situations that are happening, but she said I'll go and I'll start printing stuff out. She said I'll write it on an index card or I'll find something cute because it's a daughter. So you know cutesy things and she'll give them to her. And she finds them in a room stuck on a mirror. Screenshot, you know, background on a phone, all those things surrounding herself with these words of truth and wisdom, instead of, you know, getting caught up in that anxiety.
Speaker 3:A scripture memory, yeah for sure Goes along with that, and I think that's what happens when you have it all around you.
Speaker 2:You're seeing that verse every day, so you're hiding it in your heart.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, I was thinking of meditating on God's word, and our meditation, like from a Christian perspective, is not emptying yourself, because that's what the world thinks of meditation is emptying of yourself. It's no, it's. I'm filling up on God's word and I'm thinking on and I'm chewing over the truth that's here and what does it truly mean in my life? So, yeah, just like you said, time in the word is also meditating on God's word. I heard something recently. It was about TikTok and YouTube shorts and Instagram reels, all those things.
Speaker 1:A lot of people are getting up in the morning and their first go-to is social media. Well, each one of these things you place before you is introducing a new emotion, a new feeling. You know what I mean and it's doing so many things. So it's already. Your mind is pulled in six or seven, 10, 100 different directions. You know, depending if you're chilling in the bed and they were just saying how much more pleasant and valuable it is to get up, spend time in God's word and to be already rooted and established in his truth, and then you can walk into your day like from that place of security and like a stronghold that have just already being fragmented, you know, through all these social media things, so yeah, yeah, that's.
Speaker 3:I know the first two we've talked about have been, you know, very spiritual in nature, prayer and being in the word. Yeah, but spiritual in nature, prayer and being in the word. But hey, this is a podcast about making disciples at home, building disciples at home, and I mean let that be your highest priority. I know you're busy. You got a lot going on Other things you want that are real important to your family and your kids, but, as believers, letting that in our home be the highest priority, your kids will get it, They'll see it. You don't have to do it perfect. You're going to miss days, you're not going to know what to say, you're going to forget verses, but they sense what's most important to you and that's why we're talking about habits. If they see you consistently and that's awesome, like your kids saying well, let's pray about that.
Speaker 3:Well that means that they know, they learned that from mom and dad and they saw it reinforced at church, same with being in the word. That's one of those you almost have to go above and beyond because they do have so many influences, like Daniel was just saying, with social media, with friends, voices coming everywhere to entertain them, to distract them, and so, coming down to the word, I encourage y'all to just keep it simple. I'd rather have one verse that we meditated on all week long.
Speaker 3:Just one simple verse and let that kind of dwell with your family, rather than feeling like you've got to get five days of devotion in. I mean, if you got older kids, yeah, maybe you want to go a little deeper, but keep it simple.
Speaker 2:We have a friend, Chris, too, who's a pastor.
Speaker 3:He's been on the podcast before.
Speaker 2:But he is always very intentional at taking his kids individually to breakfast one morning a week and I have set that as a goal for us in our house this year to spend that time one-on-one with them going through something. Maybe it's something we do on our own through the week and then we pull it back together at breakfast one morning before school, before they get hit with all the things. Yeah, I love that idea that Chris and Lisa do for their kids, that intentional time.
Speaker 3:Certainly. Yeah Well, let's see the next one I have, and we've got six total, so we're halfway through. I guess this wouldn't be as spiritual, but I think it is playing together. Playing together, I don't care how old your kids are. I mean, go have some fun with them, Try to on a daily basis. And I don't know, you know it's different. I get it for guys and girls, maybe moms and dads some. But find ways to have some fun together. It could be shopping therapy. It could be running the Starbucks together. It could be throwing the Frisbee. It shopping therapy. It could be running the Starbucks together. It could be throwing the Frisbee. It could just be playing in the dirt. And I get it. You got winter time, but even there's stuff you can do inside to play.
Speaker 3:I think some of our favorite times were just like building habits of watching a movie every Friday night and having popcorn and like setting up a tent in the living room. And my kids look back at that and they're like man, that was the prime of life right there. But it just reminds your kids that we don't have to take everything so serious and we don't want to design little kids to be adults yet. No, you know, and even as adults, we need to remember how to play and have fun. Laughter kills anxiety quickly. Fun together Wow, and I get it. Sometimes it goes sideways and you're like arguing all of a sudden. But that's life, that's like road trip stuff, it's like we got to work through this and so playing together.
Speaker 2:I think is huge. They're learning important lessons with that how to win, how to lose. Because you got to have a winner and a loser.
Speaker 3:Board games yeah, yeah, board games.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we play a lot of uno at our house we play uno show no mercy yeah, oh, that's terrible sometimes. The youngest one can't play with us because we almost quit. Yeah, we, yeah, we took it, walked away, we went to stone mountain and we took it with us. No mercy, and it was like there wasn't a winner yet I was like okay, show's about to start. We got to put him away because it was about to get bad when all your kids are laughing at you because you continually lose.
Speaker 3:I just looked at them. I'm like I'm good. They're like no, dad, you're getting mad. I'm like no, I'm not.
Speaker 2:I'm good. I'm a much better loser than I am a winner, Like if I win you're going to hear about it. These poor children.
Speaker 3:So playing together I mean already we're laughing and you know. But that's got to be a habit. You can't just hope that sporadically you're going to figure out some fun stuff to do, it's got to be intentional, where you're coming home from work saying, okay, it's a decent enough day outside, let's kick the ball, let's take the dog for a walk, let's go fishing at the park. I don't know it's work, but it's good work. It is good work.
Speaker 2:And most of the time you're going to be. I mean, once your kids get older and into sports and things, somebody's going to be teaching them how to throw a ball, so do it at home. They're going to be doing it anyway, all right. So my next one is kind of the opposite of that, because instead of playing together, I want to talk about rest, because rest is something I really struggle with. Amen, because rest is something I really struggle with and I can tell immediately when I'm not getting enough rest. Then my anxiety, like I feel it. I feel it coming on and it's almost a vicious cycle because if you don't get enough rest, it's going to start that anxiety, but anxiety makes you not be able to sleep.
Speaker 2:And so you know you get in that cycle and that's a hard place to be. So it's important. I've gotten all kinds of things about rest here. I brought my notes. Here's some more detailed things about sleep deprivation and I'm not talking about like you're staying awake for 48 hours, just a general. You're not getting your eight hours a night or, for kids, 10 hours a night, however long it is. It disrupts your hormone balance and this is in all ages so regulating hormones for stress and mood. I mean, if you need a nap, you're going to start getting grumpy, right. So it impairs your emotional regulation, increases your anxiety symptoms. So if you're already prone to anxiety, you're going to start to feel it more and more. But even if you're not, you're going to feel that and then it can increase sleep disorders and panic attacks. Now I'm a big fan of melatonin. At my house we don't mind giving a melatonin if it's time to sleep. But be careful with that, because one of mine has adverse reactions with melatonin too.
Speaker 2:I've got some scripture here Matthew 11, 28,. Come to me all who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest. We know where our rest is found Same place, our hope and the truth and all these things are found that we've already talked about. And rest is found in the Lord. But, just like Daniel said, it is an emptying yourself, but not in keeping an empty mind. It's filling that mind back up with the Lord. And then I love Psalm 127 too. This is the New Living Translation. It is useless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night, anxiously working for food to eat, for God gives rest to his loved ones. I mean, all the things that we want to do are in vain if we're not resting in him, and he wants to give us that rest. But just in general, you know, getting enough sleep.
Speaker 2:Our oldest is 14, right, so he's in 10th grade, he's in high school, he's taking an AP class this year. After the younger two go to bed, we're watching a show with him, and that's fun. That is that time that we were together with just him. And then last night, after we finished, I mean it's 10 o'clock and he's like all right, well, I got to start my homework, you have to do what? Like? Come on, buddy, you can't do this. That rest is going to negatively affect you more than not reading right now. So that's a lesson that we have to teach our kids, because he would stay up all night if we let him even during school and just get by on no rest. But rest is so, so important and I don't think we realize that sometimes it's okay to stay up late. It is occasionally, but not regularly.
Speaker 3:That's huge. I think a huge part of rest is helping your kids learn to balance wisely the stuff they've got to balance. Yeah, because we ran into the same thing, and still do, of them waiting till you know 11 o'clock to start their chores. I'm like, no, you need to be in bed. Right, you know what are you doing. I'm fine, I don't need sleep. Yeah, you do, and kids are resilient, they can handle it actually better, but it does catch up with them. Plus, it's bad habits and so teaching priorities and then modeling those go a long way towards rest, teaching them how to calendar stuff. Some of them are wizards with their phone and they can set reminders and they understand technology. They're actually using AI and some really great ways to help them accomplish simple tasks that adults are still trying to figure out.
Speaker 3:them accomplish simple tasks that adults are still trying to figure out. But I think just equipping them with how to schedule, how to plan, how to handle the hours in a day goes a long way towards them having rest learning to say no to stuff, teaching them to balance.
Speaker 3:You might want to be with their friends all the time or want to fill their day, and you just have to say no. With their friends all the time, or want to fill their day, and you just have to say no. We got to learn how to, how to say no. Um, because, yeah, rest, I agree with you, is is is huge, huge, huge. Uh, I have this verse here from uh, proverbs 14. Uh, it's verse 30. It says a tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, is healthy and and just for the adults out there. One thing I want to encourage you with is to go to sleep. Have some scriptures that roll through your mind that help you sleep at night. Uh, one for me is no, I think it's a Psalm. I should know it. I'm sorry it might be Psalm eight something, eight, four, four, eight or something, but it's uh. I'll both lie down and sleep in peace. Dwell in safety.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, because you alone, lord, let me dwell in safety. You will keep a perfect peace, the one whose mind is stayed upon you because he trusts in you. Just verses like that. But you know, like I'm just laying there, I hope my dreams are not stressful and I hope I sleep well. But have a verse that you're meditating on as you go to sleep. There's plenty of verses about sleep and rest.
Speaker 2:There are, yes.
Speaker 3:It's beautiful.
Speaker 2:One thing I learned from you is you know, if you want to get up in the morning and have time to do you know your alone time with the Lord and you want to be able to, you know, go for a run or get home in time to take a shower and fix a good breakfast before you do. Whatever your thing is in the morning, it doesn't start in the morning.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It starts the night before because you stay up till midnight. You're not going to want to get up and do those things. If you want your coffee ready, set the pot the night before. You know, whatever it is like, your morning doesn't start in the morning, it starts the night before. It is like your morning doesn't start in the morning it starts the night before.
Speaker 3:I think our habit. I mean, those are so good, yet we need to tell our kids. I've had 25 years to work on that habit.
Speaker 3:Okay, because I think they feel sometimes like such pressure to be perfectionist and they've got to be doing their devotions like mom and dad are doing, and highlighting their Bible perfectly and memorizing scripture and going to church and being nice and making straight A's. I'm like no, no, I was a goofball when I was your age. You're so far ahead of me. Thank you for what you do. You're amazing. Be a kid, have some fun. I don't know.
Speaker 2:That's not even one of the habits that we've we're going to talk about today, but just encouraging them in all of these areas, like you're starting to learn these things Right. That's really good yeah.
Speaker 1:Well, the cool thing about discipleship is that it's done together. It's not a remote thing. You know, watch a video and do discipleship. So if there's a kid who wants to grow in an area, you can say awesome, let's do that together.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And let's get up early in the morning together.
Speaker 3:Let's read God's word together.
Speaker 1:I want to be better at praying. Let's pray together Fun story Parker the oldest wants to run, right?
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's like I need y'all to wake me up in the morning. He's also the till after 10 o'clock. So guess what parker doesn't do in the morning? Get up and run, get up and run. But tim has started running again. Every morning, tim's getting up. He's like if he's willing to get up, I'm gonna run with him, and if he's not, I'm gonna run without him. And so these habits that, because of parker's inspiration, tim is now doing, yeah parker's still not.
Speaker 2:He said maybe I should start in the afternoon. But it's neat to see for Parker to see Tim like sticking with it. Yeah, that was his goal, but Tim's taking it over. Great Sorry, it just makes me laugh. Very cool.
Speaker 3:We're talking about rest. Exercise helps a lot with rest too.
Speaker 2:It does, that's right.
Speaker 3:Some good exercise and stuff too. Yeah Well, my last one is another together one, but it's a big one is to have dinner together, if you're able, or have lunch together or breakfast together. Just have a meal together every day, and when the kids are little, that's pretty easy.
Speaker 1:It's going to happen.
Speaker 3:They're going to be at the table because you put them there and you gave them some food to eat Right, they get older and homework gets busy and sports come up and church activities.
Speaker 3:It can get to where, hey, having one dinner at the table a week is a big deal, but don't give up that battle to have at least a few dinners a week, if you can, at the table so that you can talk about this sort of stuff, because that's where some great discussions come up and you remember oh yeah, hey, wait, no, this habit we want you to work on. You got time to work on that. I used to struggle with it too, and just talking about family and life, and your day goes so well around a meal.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think so too. Our goal is one meal a week. Yeah, I know that that doesn't sound like a lot, but when you're going in three different directions it is a lot. And you have church one night for sure in three different directions.
Speaker 1:it is a lot.
Speaker 2:And you have church one night for sure. Well, we eat together then too, because we have a meal at church, Right. So well, two out of three are there.
Speaker 3:It just means so much to your kids.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:They're not going to act like it and they're going to whine and they'd rather not sit around the table. They'd rather have their chick-fil-a and watch TV or look at their phones while they're eating. But no, I mean, it's like they are going to remember that and it's going to be big for them.
Speaker 2:You know we say don't watch TV. We used to watch a show, like we would pick a show and watch while we ate. We always watched BattleBots. I think we're nerds at my house.
Speaker 1:But man, the robots, yeah, we love.
Speaker 2:BattleBots, but that sparked such great conversation. But that sparked such great conversation and it wasn't a I mean, it was a reality show, I guess, but it wasn't anything where we had to worry about language or it was so much fun. And then we found BattleBots that you can make at home, and destroyed each other.
Speaker 2:We did destroy each other and one of the kitchen cabinets in the process, but it was so much fun that that's what we looked forward to. That was the only time we watched it. It wasn't a show that we watched outside of that, we watched it during dinner and we laughed together and had fun together. It's okay to not just have you know, just spend that time together.
Speaker 3:Right, we've started watching Will of Fortune. I don't know why, but like literally me.
Speaker 2:One of your daughters told me about this.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Jaden is like so into Will of Fortune, and we are too, me and Mandy, and we're like, oh man, and then we're cracking up at people, who they are, what they're saying it's so funny, but then we're cracking up about like that's a oh my god, vanna gone too.
Speaker 1:No, she's still there, which is kind of interesting.
Speaker 3:But yeah, secret is just real personal with the people and he's killing it as a host.
Speaker 2:We've started watching double dare okay like from the 80s. Yeah, kids love it. Double Dare, there's only one season.
Speaker 3:Yes, I mean that's kind of like playing and having fun and time together, all that in one.
Speaker 2:And it does kind of tie in with my last one too. It's just talk about things, yeah, like have this open conversation, yeah, if we're trying to guard against anxiety and do things that help prevent it altogether, of course the Lord is our refuge, but we want to be able to talk about it. Your kids need to know that you're a safe place, that I really want to know what you're going to say. Now I can tell by your face.
Speaker 3:I would say just, I mean, talk about things. If you want a PhD in trying to learn how to talk to people, have a 14-year-old daughter. Oh, I mean, I'm like no, for real. I'm like, hey, okay, let's see, I can do this. I know I can do this. So how did the nail appointment go? Dad, stop it. All right, what was your favorite thing about the day, you know, oh my gosh.
Speaker 3:I'm like like, oh my goodness, this is so challenging, but it's actually kind of fun it is, and then we do figure out stuff to talk about, and so it's.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's a lot of work she knows in that. Yeah, you want to know these oh 100 like this is you're important to her well, too she's important to you something's still being communicated, yeah young, young girls, young guys.
Speaker 3:Their brains are developing and they're figuring out. They're thinking about stuff and trying to figure out the world, and a lot of times it's like I, I can't, we're not on the same right wavelengths. I get that, but as moms and dads yeah, or grand parents, whoever it might be we get to find a way into their life and keep talking. Yeah, I think that's so important, just that safe place.
Speaker 2:And that way you know your kids, so you see if something's coming up, you can already tell by their actions or just their facial expressions, like something is wrong or something is amazing. You know whatever it is. If you have that open communication, you're ready to celebrate with them, to help them through situations, because you know about those things. I think, talking in all of these areas, it does fit in in all of these areas.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and the reason this would help so much with anxiety is you're giving your kids a foundation. They may not agree with you, they may act like they're not listening to you especially they get older and more angsty or whatever. For a minute you might wonder is this helping at all or am I making it worse? No, you're talking it out. I've always been a big fan, too, of talking out why things are important to us. Why is it a big deal that you get your homework done before 10 o'clock? Why is it a big deal that you say yes, sir, or yes, ma'am, or whatever? If that's a big deal to your family and giving them principles to lock away in their heads, you may have to go over that principle you know 25 times with them a year, but they'll start to see it in real life and be like, oh, it does make a difference, for sure, but that comes through talking and living it out.
Speaker 2:And in all of this, if they are having any of those anxious feelings, that's okay. We all have those feelings. You don't want to bottle it up. You want them to be able to express it, even if they don't know the words to express it just to know that something's off, something's wrong.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And then we can talk about it more. That's okay. Nothing's wrong with you, you know. Let's figure this out. Don't just bottle it all up, because that's super unhealthy.
Speaker 3:So anxiety is normal.
Speaker 2:It totally is.
Speaker 3:I mean, scripture makes that clear. It does, and we might feel like it's an epidemic in our culture, and I'm sure, with social media and the rise of worldwide stuff being in your face all the time may increase, but it's been there all along. Scripture talks about not to be anxious and how to deal with anxiety and worry, and so, even though it's in our faces a lot, there are wonderful remedies from God's word. We've talked about a few. There's so many more, so many more. Yeah, we just talked about a few habits to build. So you're going to build a lot of habits this year. Yeah, some will be in sports, some will be in dance. Oh, yeah, some will be with school work. But don't miss out on these six habits we've talked about, because they will help a lot yeah, it's powerful.
Speaker 1:I've loved hearing y'all talk about this like, and I think anxiety is on the increase only because these habits y'all presented are on the decrease, right? Yeah, so I didn't know if y'all noticed. This is almost linear. I mean, getting rest was in the middle, so I guess it could be at the top or the bottom, but as y'all were going through it, I was imagining like a day in the life of y'all's kids or you as parents, and it was.
Speaker 1:It was beautiful because, just like you said, it's a foundation prayer in the morning. In God's word we're eating, we're playing together, we're talking at the table. It's a beautiful picture. I know it's not always that way, but very, very nice, excellent. Well, I want to thank you guys for tuning in to the latest episode here. I know we've been out of sight, out of mind for a bit, but we're back and we're bringing the thunder and I just wanted to say what do we say at the end here? This is what we say Thank you.
