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Anchored
Helping families navigate what it looks like to build disciples at home.
Anchored
Invest the Gift, Shape the Character, Watch Purpose Grow
The toast that made the room cry wasn’t about achievements; it was about eternity. That moment at Jaden and Priscilla’s wedding sparked a bigger conversation about how talents, character, and steady choices shape a life that actually changes people. We open season four by connecting those dots—how small habits, wise mentors, and a clear purpose turn raw ability into a calling that serves others and honors God.
That's right, we're coming back at you round to season four Anchored Family Ministry Podcast. I'm Daniel. I'm speaking with you here. And just in case you didn't know, we are three dedicated staff members helping families navigate what it looks like to build disciples at home. That's what the Anchored Family Ministry Podcast is all about. With me again, of course, I have Jennifer Dooley, and then I also have Paul Allen. How are y'all doing today?
SPEAKER_03:Doing good.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Excellent. Down here in the podcast room, nice setup. That's right. Makes me feel good. Yes. We got a great episode lined up for you. We're going to be talking about talents. I guess before we get into that though, Paul, you had a wedding. Jaden got married. Yeah. Can we talk to that about that for a moment?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, they're five days into their marriage. Can you imagine? Five days. Wow. I wish I could. Sometimes I wish I could go back to those days, but no, I'm I'm proud of our 20, 27 years.
SPEAKER_02:Wow.
SPEAKER_01:Wow. Yeah. Yeah. So Jaden and Priscilla had a beautiful wedding this weekend. Uh, social media, I don't know if it's our friend when it comes to weddings.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. Yeah, because things were already out there before the end of the wedding.
SPEAKER_01:It's like be I blame social media for the reason that like weddings are at beautiful locations, barns, farms, lakes, all these interesting traditions that weren't there for us because we didn't know about them. It's like you got married and and sure you got engaged. Hopefully you surprised someone with the engagement. But weddings have really become more and more and more like a lot of different um, I would say expectations. They're all beautiful and good. Don't get me wrong. It was a ton of fun, but I'm just like, wow. Yeah, that was crazy.
SPEAKER_03:We talked at our table at the wedding about how few weddings are at church anymore.
unknown:Right.
SPEAKER_03:Because of all the beautiful locations that are out there.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. And so we've seen like already a preview of the video, and I'm like, oh, now I'm I've drank the Kool-Aid too. Cause I that's beautiful. Yeah, I wouldn't want it any other way. It looks so cool. And I look back at our wedding video on VHS, you know, like we were reminiscing with the kids before they got married, and it's like, man, that looked so old. Yeah. So grainy. And no uh like special cuts or music with it, but it was still fun. It was still special. But yeah, it's it's awesome to have uh our family grow. I'm looking at it as getting a new daughter, which is super cool, and a new family to connect with. And they'll be living close, they're coming home in just a couple days, and we living close by. So yeah, that'll kind of tie into today's episode as well, I think. Yeah. In some fun ways. But uh, yeah, it's been big.
SPEAKER_00:It was awesome. It was a beautiful wedding. It was the whole time I was literally cheering. Um, I mean were you watching the Georgia game?
SPEAKER_03:Well, that's just it.
SPEAKER_00:I know it was UGA versus Tennessee, and so a lot of people were tuned into the game, but I'm telling you, I was tuned into that ceremony and it was beautiful. The pastor, what he spoke about, Priscilla and Jaden blew me away. These stories strengthened me up. Yeah, I'm sitting there going like yes.
SPEAKER_03:These speeches, the maid of honor and the best man.
SPEAKER_00:Wow.
SPEAKER_03:I mean, that said so much about who Jaden and Priscilla are to me. Truly, just uh that mate of honor. Like, I'm gonna tear up now. She was just yeah, like the when she said how you affected my life, and then how you affected my eternity, eternity, yeah. That's the friends you want. Sorry, we're gonna get way off now.
SPEAKER_00:But we gotta say, the best man said, each one of the groomsmen up here. Yeah, I know they would say the same thing that you have impacted my life. Yeah, like, come on. Yeah, I'm just sitting over here, like, yeah, I'm pumping my fist in there. I wasn't literally doing that. Yeah, look like a crazy person, but I'm gonna do it. You wouldn't have though.
SPEAKER_03:I feel like you could have done it.
SPEAKER_00:I was like, come on, I wanted to like stand up and let out like a a roar because that that's a life well lived. And and up until this point, I think they're doing an amazing.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, and a challenge for parents. Like, yeah, like to watch what you and Mandy have poured into not just Jaden, but all your kids, and not to know Priscilla well, but to see her as well living in the you know in the the talent that God has given both of them and how they it was just evident. It was beautiful, very Christ-centered, and yeah, it spoke a lot to y'all as well as to Jaden and Priscilla.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I guess if I could kind of pinpoint anything with with that, I think what was unusual or kind of made that happen was their post-high school decisions to stay active in a ministry, serving, uh not just attending uh church, you know, but actually continuing to serve at a at a church and develop those skills and talents we're gonna talk about into young adulthood and really stay connected, learning how to lead uh at that said ministry. So that's a hard thing. We had to push Jaden, I think I've mentioned that a few times, we had to push him pretty hard. Uh, this was during COVID at a different town, you know, up on the north side of Atlanta. We live on the south side. There, he was at Kennesaw State, and we had to really push him to find a church home. Thankfully, he had a friend there, his best man, JJ, and him were the ones who started visiting churches until they landed at North Star. And North Star had a strong college ministry enough for us to push him and say, you've got to start going to groups. And it was really Mandy, my wife did that more, and she was really pushing him to get involved in a small group. Once that happened and discipleship started happening, the rest was kind of history, right? In a sense, and God just had it worked out where they met each other through that. But it was those post-high school decisions that hopefully had to do with Mandy and I in in in a lot of ways. But no, once they were on their own, he could have done what he wanted. You know, that's true. And it would have been hard to really enforce, no, you've got to get involved. It was it was them choosing to stay uh active and growing in their faith that made it really Daniel said, I just sit back there kind of watching, saying, wow, come on. Go, go. I didn't realize even a lot of that. I didn't know.
SPEAKER_00:That was super cool. It was amazing, I'm telling you. And we need more stories like that to show young people, hey, this is a reality, this is a path you can take. The world's saying, go in this direction. Guess what? You can go in the opposite way, and this is how it can turn out for you guys. Yeah. It was a powerful testimony of uh man, them as individuals and also as a couple.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. And we're seeing more and more of that. I love it. Love it. Well, I know we're we're talking about talents today, and you know, we're into the school season, and I know a lot of parents are seeing so many possibilities in their children. And so we're gonna jump into that topic right here. Paul, tell us more about it as we're intro and in.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, like Daniel said, we're full-on school mode. Oh, yeah. Just going through the routine of homework, yeah, book bags, school lunch.
SPEAKER_03:Yes. Oh, school lunch.
SPEAKER_01:Yes. And and it's hard. It was for us. I it still is hard to step back and say, wait, what's the purpose of all this? Yeah. Just to get a diploma, just to have a party and celebrate. Right. And then just to go to college and further, you know, study and maybe beyond college to a master's or a doctorate. I mean, there's people that spend a long time in school. So what's the purpose of education? And I guess we would say get a get a job and have a career.
SPEAKER_03:Right.
SPEAKER_01:But yeah, there's a lot more to it. Of course, as parents, we want them to be well-rounded.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:We want them to have the social experiences, the the uh maybe sports become a big part or some sort of athletics and activity, uh, learning a lot of things about your culture and and just making you a better citizen of the nation you're in. But as believers, it goes to a whole nother level.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Right? Yeah. So we're thinking a lot about talents from the parable of the talent. We Jennifer just did a um uh a chapel service on that. And so it got us thinking about yeah, the real purpose of an education and that for for the believer is that your your future career and your current education would all be about giving glory to God and serving him in the midst of it.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:So if you don't know the parable of the talent, it's uh a master's going out of town, he has three servants, he gives the first one five talents while he's gone to take care of. And and for kids, we say, you know, a bag of money, he gets five dollars. And then the second uh servant, he gets two, and then the third, he gets one. And the first two, they go work, they end up doubling what they've been given. But that third servant, he took it and buried it. And then the master returns and he celebrates with the first one who has doubled his five to ten talents. And then the second, he celebrates with him for doubling the two to four. And that was a fun math thing that we could do, always throwing the math in there. But then with the one, he buried it. He said, I know you're a hard master. And so I wanted to make sure that I didn't lose what you had or that I took care of what you had given me. So I buried it. And he's and the master's like, You what? Lazy, wicked man. He said, At least you could have put it in a bank to earn some interest. And he didn't. He wasted it. And so we talked a little bit about like y'all know how it is when you're given a gift and it's your birthday or Christmas is coming, and you start seeing the gifts under the Christmas tree. What do you want to do? I mean, kids want to sneak and open them. Yep, right. They want to sneak. I need to know what this is. But what if we left those gifts totally unopened? And what what's the point?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:And how that's kind of what the third servant did. He knew he had one, but that was good enough. I'm gonna stop there. I'm not gonna use this to better my master, to better myself, to do anything to let other people know that my master trusted me with this. I'm just gonna stop and I'm gonna bury it. And that's like keeping a gift wrapped up. You're not able to use it. You're you're hiding it.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, it's it's such a big deal for our kids and us because everybody's good at something. Something. A lot of people are good at several somethings. And with our kids, it's easy to focus in on that. And if we're not careful, let it be all about them and their future, their career, or how much money they'll make because of it, or how much impact they'll have because of it. If we're not bringing it constantly back to the Lord and what he's doing, how he's at work and giving them a bigger picture, uh, it can get really skewed quickly and put probably undue pressure on them. Yes. That you've got to perform, you've got to do this certain thing where it's not, we were just talking about this earlier, it's not necessarily what you do, it's how you do it and why you do it. Right? How many of us have had a job we did not enjoy, right? And usually it's in those jobs where I'm reminded, oh, wait, do this as unto the Lord, right? And when I do it as unto the Lord, I start to enjoy it more. Yeah. I start to see purpose in it. I start to see, wow, God is good. He placed me here. And so, you know, it's attitude as much and perspective as it is what you do. Um, and so we want to talk some about that. Yeah. Some different ideas. Do you look scripturally at how careers uh or or you know, maybe talents were were given based on um leadership. Uh, you look at David and and him shepherding. Uh, obviously, his shepherding skills were were high up there. He was defending from lion and bears and all sorts of stuff, right? Bravery. He was he had that natural gift, but he also combined that with depending on the Lord. And we see later with with Goliath and other ways. He was a leader. You think of maybe the disciples and being fishermen, growing up as fishermen and having an understanding of what was required for that career. And Jesus said, I'm gonna make you fishers of of men. In other words, it's going to be an all-in for you guys. Um, Matthew, as a tax collector. I mean, there's so many different neat things to think about personalities, but we want to kind of focus in on talents and what God has given you. So, what what do you think of when it comes to talent and like your kids?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. So I think the first thing people always think is, oh, what sport are you good at? Or what instrument do you play? But I think there's so many things more than that. And like talking to kids and my kids, like we're not necessarily athletes at my house. We love sports. I mean, we can be the best cheerleaders ever, but we are not athletes. And so that's kind of out. Now, Parker plays the drums. He's excellent, he's very musical, but you know, his intelligence is a talent, like it's a gift truly given from God because he Charlie said he was just built that way. He's built different. He is built different because he he just sees it, he remembers it, he can do the numbers, he but he squanders that a little bit. I mean, he may keep that box over his talent there. But it's funny looking at kids when we were talking about talents. I have a nephew who gives the best hugs. And like I know that sounds silly to even say, but for kids, you've got to realize it's everything, it's all in how you're using everything. And so when when this nephew gives me a hug, like I can relax a little bit, I can I feel like I'm safe. He loves me, I love him. It's family. And so, like, it doesn't even have to be what sport you're good at. It could be that you're a really good friend or you just love people. And so that comes across in different ways. And so these are all talents that we have that again aren't about us, but about how we're using these things. And and as a parent, it's hard to find to be able to help your kids foster these things.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I was gonna say in that chapel time, you asked the question, is giving a hug a talent? And there was one girl and she was like, Yes, you know, and I'm glad she gave that response because I agree it is a talent.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:As adults, I think a huge part of our discipling of our kids and kids in our community and our churches is that we be sure to speak uh words of affirmation to them about how God's using them when we see that. Because if you just thought, well, that was a nice hug, cool, but didn't tell the kid, man, do you understand that when you hug, it just shows the love of God to me or whatever it might be. And at all different ages, I think you can really be creative. It's hard because we might be thinking about ourselves, we shouldn't be, but you know, if you're discipling the people around you and you notice, I think of a niece I have right now, and we went to her kid's first birthday party this weekend on top of the wedding weekend and all these all these fun things. My mom's 85th birthday. It was a wild weekend. But we went to this birthday party, it's a first birthday party, and it's always kind of awkward because there's so much focus on this baby that can't do much that maybe put a little cake in their mouth. But she did a great job at keeping things going along, you know, and and I wish I had stopped and told you you're really good at that. Because I think of back to my kids, how much it meant to me and still does when somebody else, uh another believer, uh follower of Christ, speaks into their life and says, God really used you when you did that.
SPEAKER_03:Yes.
SPEAKER_01:Whether it's art, music, organization, just showing up on time, whatever it might be, when somebody else would speak into their lives about the way God was using them, man, that was that meant more to me than anything.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Honestly. So we need to do that with our own kids more often.
SPEAKER_03:It's true because we tend to harp on the things that have to get done.
SPEAKER_01:The things they're not doing well.
SPEAKER_03:Or the things they're not doing well. Like you cannot keep your room clean for anything. Well, maybe that's not a talent. Or maybe that's a talent we need to develop. But some kids are just naturally good at that and some are not. And so finding those things that you can praise and affirm and give glory to God in front of them, to them, that's a big deal.
SPEAKER_01:Kids compare more worse than ever before now with social media, of course, kids compare to other people. But if we're not careful with our kids, they can easily start comparing their talents to other people's talents, their brothers and sisters, especially, or mom and dad, and feeling like they're never going to measure up. So I think it's real important to, yeah, it's it I don't think you're ever going to outcompliment your kids.
SPEAKER_03:Yes.
SPEAKER_01:Uh, and speaking positive things. Of course, there is a need to correct and and challenge uh where they're where they're weak, but of course, here we are talking about, you know, what's their talent. I think talents are things that can be passed down genetically. I mean, you know your family of origin usually pretty well and what your parents were good at, maybe your grandparents, uh, kind of what runs in your family, whether it's teaching, maybe artistic skills, musical skills, organization. Some people are like, what did we talk about earlier? Justice? Like some people like that just they're this this kid is born with a sense of right and wrong. The Lord can take that and do great things with that, or it could become a real source of of of struggle for them. And so, you know, that's what I think of when I think of a talent is almost like a spiritual gift, slash just something they're good at when they're born. And talents can be developed, yep, improved upon. I think there can be new talents that show up sometimes.
SPEAKER_03:I think so too, especially with ages. Like there are some things that may be a talent, but when you're eight or twelve or sixteen, you don't like that's not anything you would ever do or use. But by the time you're 30, you know, you're in the midst of a family, and so then your momming skills may come out a little more, or dading skills come out a little more. Those kind of talents. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:How about you, Daniel? I know you work with a lot of students, teenagers, uh, middle school, high school, that come in to serve uh on on a praise team, and you're not just looking at talent only, right?
SPEAKER_00:Well, no, certainly not. I mean, it's really like the motivation of their heart. Well, let's be honest. They have to have some musical talent. Okay. I haven't met too many people who don't have it, but they do exist, okay? Yeah. I remember I dated one girl, she could not sing a lick, you know? Oh, yeah. And she tried, she just didn't have it in her. It's awesome. No, but they didn't need a little bit of talent because that can be cultivated and grown. But really, I'm looking at their motivation, and I think God is very kind and giving uh grace. It's um sometimes they are wrongly motivated, but you correct them and you you kind of send them in this direction and you get continue to speak with them. It's really fun to work with students. And luckily, I think one of my talents is having kind of a little bit of a developer sort of mindset. And so when I see them grow from a 10% to an 11%, either in musical ability or in just their kind of their posture in leading worship, I'm just over the moon. I'm glad I have that so that I can be able, just like we were talking about, encourage them, be like, dude, you just did this tonight.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And that was incredible. And sometimes they can't even notice the small amount of measure that they've grown. But, you know, I can. And so it's good to point it out. And then over time, next thing you know, they're they get exponential and they really start, they start moving uh quickly. It snowballs very fast. Character and talent.
SPEAKER_01:Let's talk about that for a minute because you might be naturally good at something, but if you don't have the ability to show up on time, yeah, or dress appropriately or speak in a way that people can engage you with, your talent is basically kind of hidden at that point. Hindered or undercut. Yeah. So how do you do like that as far as like with challenging their character?
SPEAKER_00:Well, I got taught this in preaching class, and I think it's valuable. Our preaching professor said you got a flashlight and it has three bulbs. Okay, if one of the batteries is bad, sorry, three bulbs. Yeah, it has three batteries. Okay. All right. If one of the batteries is bad, the light's still okay. If two of them are bad, then it's it probably won't work. You know what I mean? And of course, if all three are gone, it's it's poor. And and he was talking about passion. Are you passionate about the word in your delivery? Because if someone delivers a sermon really monotone, it just falls flat. It's pathos, ethos, and logos. Ethos, have you actually done the work of studying the scripture and developing the sermon and writing it out and really doing the work? And then logos was also like understanding what it's actually being said. You know, you've got rightly interpreted and stuff like that. Anyways, I just I love that analogy, and I think you can apply it to a lot of different areas if you don't have certain things. Uh it just speaks really poorly. Like another example he gave was uh if you're always saying um, or if you show up late or you get in front of people and you say, I didn't have too much time this week, you know, so you know, it's kind of shooting from the hip. You just told your audience uh I don't care about you. You know, and so it was great for him to point out all these things. These are things like that I've been guilty of. So it's like, you know, you can't do those things or else it's gonna undercut the thing you're trying to get across. You know, in this case it was preaching, but in every other case, it's like, oh, I show up late all the time. Yeah or you're communicating something there, or I just didn't really take this too seriously. I didn't listen to those songs, you know, throughout the years in the worship praise band. You we sent out the songs earlier, somebody shows up, they haven't listened at all. And I, you know, there's been times where I'm just like, all right, we just no practice tonight, don't even worry about it, guys. Y'all just go home.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Because y'all don't care.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Right.
SPEAKER_00:You know, um, so yeah, the the talent has to be combined with practical things or else it's wasted.
SPEAKER_01:And that's what discipleship is, is teaching practical living according to scripture. And there's principles that are universal truths that are in God's word that when applied to how you live wisely, your talent can begin to rise to the surface. So the discipling we do at home, whether it's around the dinner table doing a family devotion or reading scripture at night together, watching little videos, all those little steps that are shaping their minds are going to eventually allow that talent they have, whether it's speaking in front of people or serving or just working hard somewhere, is going to allow it to become what we're talking about, which is a talent that's bringing God glory and useful to the kids.
SPEAKER_03:And add some of that character in with it of teaching your kids to be on time or 10 minutes early so that if something happens, you're still on time. What it takes to get ready in the morning means the night before, or you know, all those little skills of I'm we still want yes, sir, yes, ma'am. Right. Shake a hand, look in somebody's eyes. Like those kind of things, if you're still teaching those bits of character along with their talent, then hopefully they've got two batteries going for them.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, at least. And then skills on top, or you know.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I don't know how many batteries there are in the analogy. I just know the preaching works.
SPEAKER_01:I guess, you know, this week has been, of course, a big week for us with the wedding and all that, but it's also been a big week for our our country. Um, the world, really, with with the the loss of of Charlie Kirk. And and if you don't, you know, I'm sure everybody knows that name now. It's we're we're recording this in in mid-September. So obviously it's very, very fresh. This is a uh a guy who, as we're talking about this, it keeps coming to mind thinking, okay, character and talent and the impact that that has. Of course, we call it a tragedy. As believers, we know God's in control and and and God's having a a big impact uh through through this tragedy and loss. Uh, but there was a guy who character and and and talent in a really neat way and and had a big impact. I didn't realize how huge of an impact until like my kids who are college and high school age were saying, Oh, yeah, he's all over. Dad, this was like a friend. Yeah, so we listened to all the time. And I'm like, wow, that's so cool to see that kind of impact. And and I wonder, you know, if his parents saw that at a young age or whatever it might have been. But we see things in our kids like that that's sometimes extreme, and we wonder, well, is are they willing to risk for the Lord? Are they willing to serve the Lord with these really special gifts they have?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, you know, watching he didn't go to college, you know, could answer that question real quick. Uh that's one of those videos that's that was always all over. But yeah, I wonder, I am, I mean, a high school math teacher, I we've always thought next step of education. So it is a like an intentional shift in thinking for not thinking of no college is your immediate next step to what do I see in my kids that makes more sense as a next step? What has God given them? And how can I foster that as a parent? Because if his parents were like, No, you're going to college, I mean, he probably would have gone to debate or or or maybe to law school or something, but but that's not the path that God had for him. And he had to have had parents who who were okay with that, yeah, who knew that, who believed that, and who trusted the Lord enough to say, Keep going. How can we help you?
SPEAKER_00:Man, I tell you what, it's powerful. I I one thought I comes to mind with Charlie Kirk is he's 31. Yeah. But the word I'm thinking of is longevity. And that's because he started when he was 18.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And another random insight I heard, especially when it comes to Gen Z, because he was older than a lot of people who looked up to him, and it was like the guy was putting out this was like an older brother figure. This is somebody who blazed a trail and showed what you can do in this life. And so, yeah, he started when he was 18. Of course, he was assassinated when he's 31, more than a decade in the trenches doing this thing. And these are talents that he developed over time. You know, he wasn't always this like prolific of a speaker or debater. You know, it's things that over time and then I even heard him talk about expressing his faith in Christ, how that didn't come easily. It took work and saying these things out loud, debating, talking it through things. So it's cool seeing talent and a life developed over that length of time. It's kind of pretty well documented. There's a lot of videos, yeah, and we're seeing so much of it come. And then seeing the impact of that longevity going in this direction, being bold for Christ, and seeing the impact he's having on the world. It's insane. It's powerful to see a life uh yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_01:I've heard of quite a few young believers who are wanting to go into the military or who are going into the military and have asked me as a Christian, how do I handle this? How can I bring glory to God through this? I'm like, oh yeah, big time. I mean, how many videos have we seen of mission work in different branches of the military where God is is is uh showing off as far as like you know, people being baptized and growing, and it's a it's a unique hard life there. Like you said, for a lot of people that are 18 years old, branching out into some really big things, moving far away and being responsible for the defense of their nation, and of course getting job skills and and money and insurance and all that sort of stuff too. But it's a very fast way to grow up versus like, oh, well, I'll go to college and take my time and and kind of figure it out. So it's it is an interesting time in our nation as far as I think people are looking for, young people are looking for challenge. Uh we haven't had a lot of that. Yeah, and we're seeing that kind of brought to them where it's like blaze a trail, you got the opportunity, you've got the backing, the support, you know, go.
SPEAKER_00:No, I mean what you're saying is absolutely correct, and I guess that might invite the possibility of failure. Yeah, but that's just a teachable moment, right? When a child uh fails at either a grade or a sporting event. I know with the youth group, uh, in uh going bring bringing it back to music is um where you go to hit a note and you don't hit it, and that's a scary moment. Moment people are so afraid. And um, in the grand scheme of things, you know, don't worry, that's taken care of. But for me personally, whenever I miss a note, understanding that I've actually practiced and I've said all the things that I needed to do to try to achieve the note, if I miss it, well, then it just I just use it as a reminder of God's grace that I've already sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and that through this failed opportunity, I'm just reminded of his goodness, and he's the one who comes in and fills in the gaps. And truly, if if I have the right heart, then I know that he's still honored and glorified, anyways, you know. So maybe you got a student who's really poor at science, but they're doing their best. Yeah, you know, and they got a C grade. And I know the world, or maybe some others might say, well, that that's a failing grade. It's like, no, no, no, no. They just crushed it.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:You know what I mean? They they just pulled off uh a win here, even though it's a C grade.
SPEAKER_03:It's almost an opportunity to, especially with missing a note and having an audience here, you miss a note, but that puts me at ease a little bit because they're up there leading and I see less than perfect. And so that may give kids or students or whatever the situation, you may be inviting them to join you.
SPEAKER_00:Yes.
SPEAKER_03:You don't even know you're inviting them to join you, but well, I'm not a great singer, but but maybe I don't have to be a great singer if I'm willing to get up here and work and still be willing to lead. And sometimes that's the talent, is to know that leading is more important than whatever the skill is. Everybody can't be a football star, right?
SPEAKER_02:Right.
SPEAKER_03:But you have some quarterbacks who are excellent leaders for a team. They may not throw the straightest sometimes and the longest, and their handoff may end up on the ground more than it does to somebody's hands. But if they are leading, sometimes that's what's important. And that's the talent we can find in our kids too.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Consistency.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. Yes. Being there.
SPEAKER_01:Right.
SPEAKER_03:Working hard. Like you said, making a C when you've worked hard.
SPEAKER_02:Right.
SPEAKER_03:That's fantastic. And just for the record, C's are average. C's, C's are good. If you're hitting a C, that's great.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Right. Yeah. It's because we were talking earlier about affirming your kids in what you see, then, and it might be that they just, when they come into a room, they're just pleasant. Yes. You know, thank you for that. Or that they're thinking through things deeply. And sometimes they might not be tuned in too much. I know a lot of kids are diagnosed with attention struggles. I think God's shaping all of us. I know he's shaping us in really neat ways. And sometimes that could be a really hard thing as a parent to deal with. Your kid just doesn't pay attention and it seems off the charts in certain areas. That could be a sign that God's got a really interesting task for them. Yeah. And if you can ride that ride and disciple them, they're probably going to be folks that have a pretty big impact maybe on an organization.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. When we're talking about developing talents, I mean, those kids are struggling in other ways. So if you have a kid who is struggling with any kind of attention, anything, then if they're working in class and they have a B, they've worked twice as hard to get the B. So they've already overcome so much, they're willing to do the work, to put in the effort and to risk it. So yeah, you're right. Those skills we call those kids future leaders.
SPEAKER_00:That's good. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:That and and also I'll go on the record to say that the people that have had the biggest impacts on me, and I think the ministries I've been a part of have probably actually been kids that we would actually call special needs. I wish there was a better name. I'm glad we have that name. Yeah. But these kids are ones that probably don't quite fit.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Uh they may live at home their whole lives and maybe never uh have an opportunity to marry and have their own family, but they've had a bigger impact somehow, some way. God's used them. And that's that seems biblical.
SPEAKER_03:It's very biblical. And I think that as parents, you don't want your kid to not fit in. Right? I mean, that makes it hard for them. And as much as we want to say, no, I want my kid to stand out. No, sometimes you don't. You want your kid to fit in so that they don't have to struggle with some things, but how great is it to not fit in?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. I think it's so dangerous to try to make kids fit a certain mold we want. That can be, you know, hiding their talents. Yes. Because we want a certain performance. It's all about us. We're scared they may not make money doing this. Or we're scared they may not blossom into what we'd always dreamed when God has a different plan for their lives. And again, the the special needs community out there, I think, understands. I know there's a real struggle that goes there too. Uh, but also an impact that God can have that nobody would predict.
SPEAKER_03:That's probably one of those talents that those parents didn't develop until they had to.
SPEAKER_01:True.
SPEAKER_03:You know what I mean? Like God knew what was going to happen. He prepared them for it. Yeah. They just didn't know it yet.
SPEAKER_01:That too. Maybe one last thing I would say is just to keep a real close eye out, look for signs in your kids of things that are kind of outliers with your kids that don't seem to quite fit. I remember, for example, Jaden's favorite verse was the one I can't remember the reference in James where it basically says, if to you something is sin, then it's sin to you, basically. If in other words, your conscience spirit says it's a sin, then it's sin for you. And I was like, that's a weird verse for a kid to have as a favorite verse. I'm like, pick up Jaden, pick a better one. You know, there's plenty of really, you know, ones that make more sense. But no, he has always been very much of that bent. And I see it in him more and more and more as he grows. And I'm like, wow, I wish I kind of caught on that earlier or started feeding into that more. So if your kids, especially spiritually, kind of lean towards a certain verse or gifting that God's given them, that can kind of, I think, start to clue you in on what they might do as a career. Maybe not even as a career, but what kind of person they're going to be in that field where they'll make a great manager or either a great leader or just a great, a behind the scenes kind of supporter.
SPEAKER_03:And I think those things start early. Like that's not something you wait until they're 16 and try to see. No, those things show themselves early.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. That's great that that was his favorite verse.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. And it's so fun. I mean, working with kids in church and hearing.
SPEAKER_03:Yes. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I mean, uh that I think it's okay to say like Sparrow last night. I mean, dude, he's answering on it. He's answering everything. And other kids in sixth grade that I get to teach.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:These kids.
SPEAKER_03:The thoughts. And he's a first grader.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:These kids are learning so much. They're soaking so much in. When we say they don't have an attention span, that just means they can't sit still for that long. It doesn't mean they're not listening for that long because they are so excited to learn new things and to experience new things. And how great is it to get your kid when they're young if you're recognizing some of these things and push them just a little bit, urge them into this. I know you want to play soccer, but have you ever thought about taking a speech class or, you know, something, something that challenges them in a way that first everybody else may not be challenged at a young age. But if you're seeing those things in your kids, start them early. See how you can help them, just encourage them. Again, and that affirmation. I know in everything we talk about, it somehow comes back to relationships, but the relationships as parents and kids, and then having outside adults who are pouring into your kids, who know your kids, who see your kids. I read a Facebook or an Instagram post yesterday of a guy who's in a band that we like. And he had a picture with one of his former guitar teachers from when he was in high school. And we're talking about a man who's still making music in his 50s. He's a producer, he's a writer. And he talked so much about his guitar teacher from when he was 13. But it wasn't about what he learned from him. It was he was willing to drive to Cartersville from Rome to pick me up from my school and work with me. And he said, sometimes we never even picked up the guitar. We talked about music. And that's a very, you know, not that you can't talk about music as Christians, but like as a secular band, that's one thing. But imagine if you're having other adults who are believers pouring into your kids like that, who are making an impact when they're eight or 13 or however old it is, and just talking to them, picking them up from school, pouring into them. And as adults, that should challenge us, not just with our own kids, but what else can we be doing?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, it communicates so much value. I saw a similar video and I saved it. I save a lot of Instagram posts. Yes, they just make me happy. But I think this one I might have saved under the folder happy. But uh, it was this apparently an amazing soccer player, like world worldwide known. I know here in the States we don't keep up with soccer as much, but he was being interviewed at the soccer stadium, and all of a sudden he turns around and there's a man there, Mr. Pigden, I think. And uh immediately the countenance of the soccer player's face completely changes. And he takes off his hat and he's like, Mr. Pignon, they told me you were dead. And then he just walks over and embraces him, hugs him, and starts crying. He's so moved. And but then he tells more of the backstory, like he had no value in himself. But Mr. Pignan spoke just a couple of words to him and saying, Oh man, I think you're great at this. I think you could do things well in soccer, and you know, this, that, and the other. And then decades later, here he is, world-renowned soccer player, and yet he's still moved to tears by just the sight of this man, you know? And it's such a powerful story that the the words we have, they man, they truly the life and death is in the tongue. Yeah. And so, uh, man, as parents, as as people who are pouring into students and into each other, just like it says in Romans 1, we need to be mutually encouraged by each other's faith in the Lord, and then just honestly just encouraged in general. Hey, I think you're really talented at this. Do you know you do this sometimes? I think you're really good at this. Yeah, this is incredible.
SPEAKER_03:Kids don't even notice that sometimes.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and you've just given them permission to like go in on this thing. Right. Hopefully, you've rightly you know seen what what's good in them, you know, and didn't like point them in a bad direction.
SPEAKER_01:That's neat. I didn't, yeah, podcast kind of went in a little bit of an unexpected direction. But that's I mean, I'm encouraged and challenged to go up from here and and try to, you know, be more intentional about the people I'm around, encouraging them, whether they're adults or kids, about hey, you're really good at this, and the Lord is using you. Uh, and like I said, be honest and clear about it. But man, that makes a difference. It does.
SPEAKER_00:It'd be really cool to do that regularly. Yeah. I know we're in it, but I just got I want to share one more story because this is just kind of random. At the wedding, I was sitting with some of the former students of Paul's. Um, one of them was Michael, and I was just honestly, everyone who was at that table was amazing. Yeah. But I I'm looking at Michael, and one thing about him, he's he's about to be a lawyer, and I had no no idea how much he loved justice because some of the stuff he was saying was like, oh man, we're so looking forward to putting these people behind bars they've done wrong, and we got to hold them accountable, and this, that, and the other. And that's not my personality. I'm like, oh no, show mercy, show mercy. It's always kind of funny how God's created all of humanity with different talents, abilities, and and and bends in this direction and that. And I'm glad for people like Michael, yeah, you know, or other people who are going into the military who have a strong sense of justice because they understand some things need to be met in this kind of manner. But I was just hearing him and I was like, man, this guy's awesome. And not only that, he was speaking so eloquently.
SPEAKER_03:Yes, he does.
SPEAKER_00:And I was like, that's not a thing that happens overnight. No, that's developed over time. And then he was encouraging another kid at the table, a kid, it was he's a young adult, and he was just like, Oh, you've been working out. Oh my gosh, I always knew you were a stud. Look at this guy right here, da da da. And I was like, Oh my god, yeah, I want to be like Michael. Yeah, you know, yeah, and um, it's just cool. It just speaks to his his parents and um and his upbringing. I mean, and sometimes people find their way with bad parents, you know. But I know his parents, so I know that there's good times, and it's just neat to see students who are finding their talents, their giftings, their abilities, and they're taking it to the maximum. It's cool to see them shine, and they're doing it all for the glory of God. And uh pretty powerful, man. It is amazing. So we're gonna wrap it up there. Hopefully, you're encouraged to be an encourager and don't get down on yourself if you've messed up. That's all right, man. God's good, he'll provide what's needed in your life. Look to him for all wisdom. So thank you so much today for joining us for the Anchored Family Ministry Podcast. And as always, stay anchored.
