Helping Kids Turn Belief into Action! OR Jesus Loves You, and Other Scary Things to Say at Chic-fil-A!!!!

You have read the title, now you have to listen to find out about the scary things to say at Chic-fil-a!  You are hooked!

On a more serious note, we will also explore practical ways to help children move from head knowledge to a lived, resilient faith through service, work ethic, mentorship, and honest discipleship at home. Stories, simple habits, and courageous modeling turn quiet belief into action that lasts.

• linking James’s “faith without works” to everyday family life
• mission trips and local service as growth accelerators
• age-appropriate serving: backpacks, hygiene kits, PB&J
• writing a family mission statement and bigger story goals
• letting kids invest their own money to feel sacrifice
• the power of witnessing gratitude up close
• everyday witness through kindness and brave words
• school and jobs as discipleship labs for diligence and respect
• connecting gifts and callings to God’s work in every sphere
• placing kids near faithful adults and real responsibility
• balancing discomfort with support to build resilience
• inner life practices: Scripture, prayer, confession, repentance

Chapters

• 0:08 Birthdays, Banter, And A Theme
• 1:44 Faith Without Works: Setting The Frame
• 3:14 Mission Trips And Service As Catalysts
• 5:08 A Million Miles in a Thousand Years
• 6:35 Age-Appropriate Ways Kids Can Serve
• 8:00 Operation Christmas Child
• 10:59 Writing A Bigger Family Story
• 15:19 Letting Kids See Impact Up Close
• 20:31 Everyday Kindness As Witness
• 23:14 Work And School As Training Grounds
• 28:00 Gifts, Calling, And Culture Making
• 31:44 Bold Words, Real Risks, True Love
• 34:24 Power Of Adult Examples

Transcript

Daniel: 0:08

Oh, hello, hello, hello, and welcome back to the Anchored Family Ministry Podcasts. We are three dedicated staff members helping you guys and each other navigate what it looks like to build disciples at home. I am Daniel. I am here once again with Jennifer Dooley and Paul Allen. And it's a great day. How are y'all doing today?

Jennifer: 0:30

I feel a year older, Daniel.

Daniel: 0:32

Wow, that's amazing.

Jennifer: 0:33

Do you feel a year older since we were here last?

Daniel: 0:36

I do. I've aged skin. Same to get a new skin care regiment.

Jennifer: 0:43

You know, Naaman had the best one. We read about that a few weeks ago in GAs.

Daniel: 0:48

Oh, doing seven dips in the Jordan.

Jennifer: 0:49

Seven dips in the Jordan.

Daniel: 0:50

Okay, well, that's it. We're moving to Israel. There we go. Gotta get those mud deposits.

Paul: 0:55

How are you, Paul? I'm doing good. October is a crazy around here birthday months for Danny. It really is. James, myself, Jennifer. Who else? There's Steve Owens. My wife. Yeah. A lot of people. October is very birthday y.

Daniel: 1:13

It is. Slacking on the birthday. Like I told James happy birthday a day before. It's okay. Then I didn't tell him on the day.

Jennifer: 1:19

I thought yours was the 24th, not the fourth.

Daniel: 1:22

Oh, yeah, no worries. It can be. Well, then I'm young. I'm young still.

Jennifer: 1:25

Yeah, you are.

Daniel: 1:26

In Jennifer's eyes. That's how we uh we move the numbers around. Yeah, it's a birthday month. Falls heading in. It feels nice, beautiful. The leaves started falling. They have. In some people's yards, not in mind yet, which is cool. Yeah. It's a beautiful time. Hopefully y'all are enjoying your time out in the world, in the wild. Today we're talking about how to help our kids put faith and knowledge into action. I was just thinking about James in the book of James. Faith without works is dead. That's not to say that your salvation is based on works, but it's just your faith will translate into good works that are done and proves your faith. So that's a Bible verse to kind of help us lean in. So that's what we're going to talk about today. And I guess we wanted to jump in uh right into the thick of it and just kind of explore how mission trips and service projects, how seeing those kind of trips, how they kind of elevate or like push our our kids, our students into kind of a new, I don't know, a new area of growth and faith and stuff like that. So maybe we could talk about that for a second.

Paul: 2:29

Yeah, I think too, real quick to go back to the topic, as parents, that's what we really want to see in our kids is evidence that they are growing in their own relationship with the Lord and not just stuff that we tell them to do in church and not just stuff that we might tell them to do. And so what are the indicators of that? That's crazy at different ages. Yeah. It's very different. I know I've always been very excited to see my kids reading their Bible on their own.

Jennifer: 3:00

Yeah.

Paul: 3:01

And even when they started journaling and highlighting, and I'm like, okay, great. They're interacting with the word. That's really nice evidence that they have a walk with the Lord. But when it comes to it growing as they age, I do think that service projects and mission trips make a huge difference. In youth ministry, I saw a lot of that where we took kids on retreats, and that was great. We saw them grow and get excited, but there was a different type of growth that happened on mission trips when they were putting their faith into action. I know some families that make it a high priority to do that on their own as a family, which is really cool. We've done some of that, but what about you, Jennifer? I know y'all have done some of that as well.

Jennifer: 3:49

We've done some of that. Yeah. I think maybe knowing your kids and knowing how much out of their comfort zone to get them is beneficial as well because it can be uncomfortable in some situations serving others places and things that you're not used to.

Paul: 4:04

So like even just like getting donations together for PBS or backpacks for kids in need. Right.

Jennifer: 4:10

We make sure we do the backpacks and they get to pick one. Uh so our church prepares backpacks every year, and you choose a gender and an age group. And so we make sure it's their gender, their age group. And so it's like, what would I like? But instead of it being for me, I'm gonna give it to somebody else.

Paul: 4:28

It makes me think right away of things I wished I had done, like my kids maybe participated by buying some of that with their own money. Sounds good. Yeah, it sounds good now, but it'd be a lot harder.

Jennifer: 4:39

It is, but it's not because if they're seeing this and maybe they're seeing the benefit of it, and they've witnessed other people doing it too, then yeah, I want to be a part of that. And if that means I have to spend a little bit of my money, I'm okay doing that.

Paul: 4:54

I'll always remember the story Daniel told me about the I can't remember who the author was. He's a famous author, wrote about a girl where she was rebelling as a teenager, and the parents decided we're gonna write a better story for our Yeah, that was Donald Miller in the book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years.

Daniel: 5:12

Okay. It's about how to tell a better story with your life.

Paul: 5:15

Yeah. I mean, I think a lot of that was encompassed in there that they said, we're gonna start to figure out how to help other people and give and go. And and because I think I say all that to say I think our kids are wanting more challenge. They're wanting to put their faith into action. And so don't just sign them up for the mission trip and say, hey, go with your church, which is really cool to do, do that, but also, hey, why not make it a little bit more challenging and say, let's take some of your chore money or some of the money that you've been saving and go fill this backpack as a family, all of us combined. I might still try that.

Daniel: 5:51

Yeah, yeah, it's good. I remember that story um because she was starting to date like other rebellious people, and so they were worried for, but it's like, how do you recapture her mind? And the way they did it was, yeah, like think building a well or something in Africa as a family.

Paul: 6:07

A bigger story, something bigger. A bigger story. Yeah.

Daniel: 6:09

Yeah. And so they just kind of focused in on that. And I don't know, I can't remember the details on how they kind of got buy-in from their kids, but they must have done something. Yeah. Because it's, you know, it's not like they just put something up on the fridge. Later, they kind of circled back to, oh, uh, how's it going with Billy or whatever? And she's just like, nah, he's not really the kind of guy for me.

Paul: 6:29

Yeah.

Daniel: 6:29

Because all of a sudden, yeah, their story was larger than Billy's rebellious streak.

Paul: 6:34

Kind of like circling back to stuff we talk about a lot. You know, and that's good. On this podcast, we're talking about building disciples at home. So we're gonna be hitting the same stuff over and over again in different ways. But that brings to my mind like a family mission statement that, you know, you as a family, you come up with it and you put these things on there that y'all agree upon. And maybe one is, hey, we're gonna do bigger things together than we can do on our own. And so one of those is that, hey, we're gonna, as a family, build a well for this unreaf people group and wherever. There's places where you could serve and give that you can just look online and figure that out. Yeah. But if it's in your home and it's on the wall, you're writing that bigger story for your kids where they see how as a family you're putting your faith into action.

Jennifer: 7:19

My mom was a school counselor, and so counselors usually find out around the holidays families who are in need, whether it's families within the school they work or with a county or whatever. And I remember one year we got to help shop for the family, and the mom came to our house to pick everything up. And so we were loading it from I may tear up as I talk about this. We were moving everything from our vehicle to the mom's vehicle, and she was overwhelmed. And I think that maybe we don't let our kids see that side of it too. But people who are receiving these things, whether it's a well, I mean something huge like that, or the Operation Christmas Child, where they're filling a shoebox, which is so small, or a backpack, it's not a big deal, but it is a big deal. For you to sacrifice, for you to give time or resources or whatever it is that you're willing to sacrifice for kids to maybe see that a little younger than what we expose them to it right now. Yeah. I think seeing that side of it, it was impactful for me. I was a teenager. Yeah.

Paul: 8:27

Well, I think about in our marriage, two of my favorite moments with my wife have been serving other people. When we were dating, we went to Calvary Refuge up the road, and it's a women's and men's shelter, and the men leave early in the morning to go look for work, and they have to have peanut butter and jelly sandwiches made. And we went and did that one uh can't remember if it was early in the morning or late at night, one or the other, but just doing that with her was just awesome. And then being able to pay for other people's meals every now and then when we see somebody that we know and the Lord leads us to be able to do that as a family, it's just it's so good.

Daniel: 9:09

Yeah.

Paul: 9:10

And so much better than just going to the movies with each other. That's fun. You know, and and there's so many good things, but those two just stand out in my mind as very beautiful.

Jennifer: 9:19

Well, and the things you just mentioned, like making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, kids can do that. And I think sometimes kids, probably even teenagers that minor, you know, a little younger than yours, but they may feel like I can't serve other people. You know, I don't have a job, I can't give money, I don't have any skills. I'm a kid. Making peanut butter and jellies, you do it at home. So I know you can do it. And finding things that are age appropriate, but that your kids can own that they can do.

Paul: 9:49

I think that's good. Yeah, one thing I definitely I'm gonna have to go add this to my list right now because I've been meaning to do it and I just keep forgetting to write it down, is to put together packages to give to people on the road who are asking for help. Yeah. And my wife is the one who's like, quit giving them cash. Let's make little bags that we give them that have some hygiene stuff in theirs, a gift card for a local easy-to-get to fast food place, and maybe a few other things and an encouraging track or something there about Jesus' love, and let's put those together as a family.

Jennifer: 10:21

Yeah, one of our Sunday school classes gets together. They're doing it twice a year, now once in the fall, once kind of early summer. And they just go on a Sunday morning, they take toiletries that you save from the hotel. Now we know why we save them all because that's what they use, and they make little bags of of these hygiene products. We find shoes and jackets, flip-flops, umbrellas, things like that that people have at their home. It's probably just sitting there most of the time. Yeah. And so they take it, but we let kids go. Once they hit 10, kids can go, and it is powerful for those 10-year-olds. But I know we have a senior this year who's been going, I think since he was 10, and he looks forward to it every year. And so making them a little bit uncomfortable, but then letting them see how they are impacting others. They are putting their faith into action.

Daniel: 11:13

That's a great teachable moment. I mean, going all the way back to the family that you helped that one Christmas where they came over and the mom was really touched. I guess that's a really like overt example. It's like you can easily point that out to your kids, like, wow, see what an impact we made. But I was taken back to David Brown, he discipled me for a little bit, and he actually took his family to do uh on Thanksgiving to package Thanksgiving meals and stuff like that on Thanksgiving Day, which was cool. We were supposed to be going to share our faith, which we did. It was like part of this class called Faith or whatever, but we would just go through drive-thru lines and be like, ah, see, here's how you treat these people. And he would just be the kindest person on the planet, which he always was. You know, he was always that way with me. He even called me one day and apologized because he felt like he raised his voice to me. Wow. And I was being a jerk. I was being a bum, a little 16-year-old bum. Anyways, and then afterwards, though, he'd point out, he's like, I think she uh felt better after that interaction, da da da. It was just neat him pointing out, like, yeah, I think we did make a difference just in just how we treated this person. We boosted their spirit, their confidence. I'll tell you one other David Brown thing, because I just want to sharing faith. So this is a little off topic. But we sometimes we'd go to houses because we'd have little things, little slips like, Oh, I think this is a potential person to share your faith with. And they'd be like, Oh, we're Christians, we're Christians already. And he'd be like, Oh, that's so great. Well, hey, we're actually just practicing how to share our faith. Is it okay if we do that anyways with you guys so we get in some rest?

Jennifer: 12:35

That's awesome. Yeah.

Daniel: 12:37

It's a little trickery because I mean, awesome. If they are Christians, great.

Jennifer: 12:40

Yes.

Daniel: 12:41

But if they're not, we got to share the gospel with them. Yeah. And because they've already said this is something we agree with you, Mob. It's like, hey, you actually know.

Jennifer: 12:48

Well, I love that because what you said first about him just being extra kind. Because if we're talking about living out our faith, that doesn't necessarily have to be a mission trip or always serving, because it's in all of our actions. If we're talking about fruit that is coming from our relationship with Jesus, then there are a lot of things that we could be doing a lot better. And being that example for our kids, that's great. A drive-thru line, I mean, if you're gonna get frustrated, it's gonna be in a drive-thru line. Yeah. Right. Especially when you have somewhere you need to be. So showing that extra bit of kindness, just oh yeah, you know, having the peace of the Lord, the joy of the Lord, no matter what your circumstances are, that's a big deal.

Daniel: 13:32

On the flip side of that, uh-huh, I went through Chick-fil-A the other day, and this young guy, you know, it's like 6 30 in the morning and he's kind of being friendly, but he was doing a great job, no doubt. Yeah. But before I left, I was shocked. He goes, Hey man, Jesus loves you. And I was like, Whoa. Yes, hey, hey, well, that I know, thank you, sir. You know, as I'm driving away. Yeah. But for me, I was like, dude, that guy's stepping out right there. I don't care if it's Chick-fil-A.

Paul: 13:58

Yeah.

Daniel: 13:59

To me, you could easily get fired, yeah, or at least reprimanded for that kind of statement because you say it to the wrong person and they're gonna be like, Hey, I don't want to hear none of that stuff. I'm gonna tell your manager. And then the manager comes up to you and says, Hey, you can't tell people Jesus loves them. Then you're faced with a decision. Am I gonna keep doing this or am I gonna, you know, play it by ear and let the Holy Spirit lead? But that kind of leads us into the next area where you can serve and interact with people, and that's jobs. I know, Paul, you got some kids who've had some jobs.

Paul: 14:25

Still do, yeah.

Daniel: 14:26

Yeah.

Paul: 14:27

That ties in really well because the thing about making faith real is so practical. And I think being able to show kids, like you're talking about with David Brown showing, hey, watch this, this is how it works. And we just minister to this person by being really kind or by sharing the gospel and letting you see how that happens. But work in particular and school really give you opportunities to show your kids where God's word is true. And like, hey, if you work diligently at this, you will be blessed.

Daniel: 14:58

Yeah.

Paul: 14:59

If you don't, you know, you can pray, but you didn't do the work. So there were a lot of opportunities to talk about customer service and how you interact with people, being on time. All those are godly principles. Yeah. Showing respect to your elders, how to even communicate and bring words of joy and peace. All that was, you know, if you're with your friends at school, hey, yeah, of course everything's going well. But when you're at work and it's adults and people in bad moods and your paycheck depends on it, kind of thing, you learn real quick that there's nobody gonna come along and all of a sudden fix things for you. You gotta step up and apply some of what you've been learning. So a lot of good conversations about the practical and how it plays into different parts of life.

Jennifer: 15:47

Yeah, I think when I was teaching working at church, it's different. Yeah, it is. Because you know your I don't want to say clientele, but you know the people that you're around, you know your coworkers, you know that we are on the same page. But when you're in a classroom, you do not feel that way. And so I wanted to be not just the best teacher that I could be. I mean, I want you to understand math, I want you to love math, but I want you to know that you are loved. I wanted my kids to see something different in me because there should be a light that's shining in me that's from Jesus. I wanted kids and teenagers to recognize that in me. And so, like those same principles, the work ethic that we may talk about, it's not just because I wanted to be the best employee. It's because I want you to know that I love you and here's why I love you, because I am loved. You know, when you're in the job, it is a new and interesting place to show faith in different ways that kids may not be thinking about when they're in school or at home. Because at home, if you don't do a chore, you may not get your allowance, your parents may fuss at you, but when you're in the workplace, it's a big deal. That was just me when I was just teaching.

Daniel: 17:02

You're outside of your parents' uh wings, yeah. You're there. Yeah, you're alone, so to speak. And so, yeah, it's uh like a stepping stone into making your faith your own, is how you express that at the job site.

Jennifer: 17:14

For sure.

Daniel: 17:14

Job site construction, that's where all kids need to go. It makes me do them some good. Yeah.

Paul: 17:20

About our last episode, though, where we talked about you know your gifting and your skills and abilities and using those for God's glory. Yeah, because that's a big thing, I think, is that God's at work in all the areas of society. Yeah. You know, not just the church and discipleship and missions and serving right now this weekend. Our church is having a film festival, right? Yeah, Christian film festival where they're practicing Christians who are into that sphere of the world as far as bringing entertainment and creativity, and that's their skill set, are using that for the glory of the Lord. And so, again, whether you're at a construction site or you're doing films or you're a teacher, whatever it may be, that you can put your faith into action there at Chick-fil-A, just by saying Jesus loves you.

Jennifer: 18:10

Yeah, yeah.

Paul: 18:11

And same way. That's heroic. Yeah, it's heroic. That's bold, like you said, and at work, same thing. Yeah.

Jennifer: 18:19

Yeah, because what's it gonna take one person to say, I don't know that I believe that. Oh, okay. Well, let's talk about that then.

Daniel: 18:27

Yeah, yeah. Romans 5, 8. God demonstrates his love for us in this, that while we sinners, Christ died for us. That's how God proved it. And then you jump onto the hood of their car. There you go. You won't let go until they convert.

Jennifer: 18:40

They can still have their chicken, but Yeah.

Daniel: 18:44

No, it's powerful. All that stuff's powerful. And I loved uh earlier, Jennifer, you're talking about kids possibly thinking, Oh, I don't have what's needed in order to serve someone, but you were talking about age-appropriate steps, and Paul just saying you were talking about talents. This morning I literally watched a clip with Denzel Washington, because he's a Christian. There was like a lot of different ways where they were trying to get him to speak on politics, but he pointed it back to scripture, and it was kind of like they were trying to trap him in this one area, and he was just like, We need to be faithful with what God has given us, you know, with our talents and our abilities. And so it's cool seeing wherever somebody's at, if all they can do is spread jelly on a sandwich or peanut butter, boom, fantastic. They've got it. And we know that's like the the parable of the talents where here's what God's entrusted you with, here's the abilities He's given you, and you use those faithfully, and and God will grow you into something amazing. So that just kind of leads me into well, actually, I gotta say this too. I watched another clip. This is what I do. All right. I I just love being uh informed and being stirred up by others' faith. Okay, that's how you see people really catch on fire, is when you see somebody boldly stepping out there, and it's as if they're blazing a trail for you to follow. So in our families, you know, that's uh the husbands and the wives, the moms and the dads who are doing that for their children, so they're seeing it in their kids. There's this one guy I watch on YouTube, and he really takes on Islam. And I was shocked by this one clip. His YouTube channel is God Logic, but he's not calling himself God, he's just saying it's just logical, you know. Anyways, the Christian faith is very logical. But he was in New York City and I was shocked because he was confronting some Islam people who were trying to promote Islam, and he just asked one question. He said, We only got one question, and then he let the crowd respond, and he had like 30 to 40 people with him, and they all yelled out the same question, which is a long story. It's what is the injil, which is that's what Muslims call the gospel. It's a way to trap them and and point out their logical inconsistency. But I was shocked that 40 people out of nowhere was like with this dude, and I was shocked that they were following him as he was expressing his faith and contending with these thoughts and ideas of Islam. And I was like, this dude is raising up a generation or a group of people who are going to take on these other people. And it just kind of leads me into the next point, which is watching and witnessing other adults putting their faith into action and how powerful that is. I even got more stories on that because I heard it from a funeral where uh it was Steve Wright and Renee Bedez over at his house just having a conversation about their faith and how this was a younger person had witnessed it, and they were like shocked. Oh, wait, adults actually believe this thing? They actually talk about and express their love for Jesus and how that really shaped them, you know? And I don't know, any thoughts about just how powerful it is for kids or students to watch and witness other adults really putting their faith into action?

Jennifer: 21:53

Yeah, I think that's a big deal. I I think especially teenagers, they tend to not want to be the one standing up. But once there's one who stands up, oh my goodness, come on, right? They will just fall in. And it's not because they're being followers, they know the truth. Yeah. And I think revival's gonna start with the next generation. I mean, isn't that what we're hearing? That kids and teenagers and young adults are the ones who are standing up for their faith for what they believe in right now. And it's probably because they've seen somebody else do it.

Daniel: 22:26

Yep, absolutely.

Jennifer: 22:27

Or because they haven't seen somebody else do it. So, as parents, how vital is it for us to raise disciples at home? We want to tell the world about the truth of Jesus, but we've got to start with our kids. And so when we put our faith into action as parents, but when we're exposing our kids to other adults who are putting their faith into action, whether it's at the job site, on these mission trips, when you're packing bags alongside of the road, kids are gonna remember those moments. You said those are your biggest dates with Mandy. I'm guessing, I mean, they were before y'all got married or before you had kids at least, right? So we're not talking things that have just happened in the past couple of years. These are things that were powerful from years ago and that you want to keep in front of yourself and in front of your kids. So I think, yeah, seeing other people blazing that path, whether it's us as parents or what we're exposing our kids to, yeah, is vital.

Paul: 23:24

Yeah, I think too, the older generation is always going to have wisdom, experience. Those who've walked with the Lord and are faithful, if we can get them around our kids, that goes a long way. Because they just know it. I mean, they can tell, especially even our little ones.

Jennifer: 23:42

Yeah.

Paul: 23:42

They can tell around godly older men and women that there's something there. Yep. They just have figured some things out and aren't as stressed or worried about other things as a lot of us are in our 30s and 40s. And so getting our kids around retired, strong, yeah, God-fearing men and women is powerful. If you've got some grandparents like that or whatever, yeah, that's a given. But if not, probably in your church, there's some. I love how Daniel tossed, but like it's almost like time travel. You know, they get to see a possible future and a powerful past. You know, we kind of long for the simplicity of the past. It's not that it was different in the 80s and easier. It's that every older generation has learned some contentment if they've walked with the Lord for a while.

Jennifer: 24:34

Yeah. It's funny you say that my oldest son asked to stay with his granddad today here in fall break. Can I find a day this week? I just want to go hang out with him.

Paul: 24:43

So it should be, yeah. Yeah.

Jennifer: 24:44

And how much he's learning from him.

Paul: 24:46

Yeah.

Jennifer: 24:47

But other ways, Parker serves on the AV team with Daniel. And I know how much he looks up to you and to Greg here at church because he watches you, your example of leadership and uh work ethic here. Whether it's getting sound right or lights right, it's important to y'all, and you've made it important to him. So putting them around other adults who are serving that maybe they can include them in that is a big deal too.

Daniel: 25:17

I hope he's learned some of my tactics. It's a lot of fear and intimidation and uh blackmail, even if you don't have actual. He comes home shaking. So that's that's powerful. Powerful. Yeah.

Paul: 25:31

Yeah. Having kids serve at church is a given. I mean, we've kind of skipped over that, but that's such a great opportunity for teenagers, even younger, to be able to see that I don't just come and sit in church. I get to help out. And they need me.

Jennifer: 25:45

Well, and I think what you just said there is important because with kids and teenagers at home, sometimes we overlook and we're like, I'll just do it myself. Yeah. I'm really guilty of that. But we can't. You've got to let kids learn these things too. Yeah.

Daniel: 25:59

Well, that's a big deal.

Paul: 26:00

One I'd love to touch on real quick before we're done. I know this might be our last little segment here, but I think the crazy balance between letting your kids be uncomfortable or letting them figure things out on their own versus coming to their rescue. And I know we've done plenty of episodes about overprotective parenting and the anxious generation, but that's a real struggle for parents in this day and age. Because we see so much. We're overexposed by social media and the information age. So we're overexposed, we're freaking out. And so if our kids are struggling and they seem like they're freaking out, we probably need to go rescue them real quick or else something bad might happen. Right. But let's face it, we each as adults figured out how to trust the Lord and put our faith in the action by not being rescued by other people, but by working through hard things. So that's so hard with different age groups. I mean, with littles. Yeah. Yeah. You got to know when to kind of come to the rescue and when to let them cry it out or deal with it. With teenagers, same. You don't, you're it's like such a volatile situation. You don't want to like mess up young adults, even harder. Any advice, Jennifer?

Jennifer: 27:11

I hear friends, and you've talked about not that you're not my friend, we're friends, but you included in that friends who have young adult children, and that seems like the hardest time to parent because you have to be removed. They've got to make their mistakes. And so looking now at mine at eight, twelve, and fourteen, like it's hard to know when to step back and when to not and when to show them resources, but not necessarily how to use those resources. You know what I mean?

Paul: 27:43

You want them to learn resilience. Yeah. You want them to learn that from the Lord. Yeah. That you want them to learn, I'm not gonna solve this problem for you. Seek the Lord.

Jennifer: 27:51

Yes.

Paul: 27:52

See if He can solve it for you, you know, but that's so different. It depends on the Yeah. Let me just do it for you. Well, and like you said, I think the reason it's harder as I get fast for you. The reason it's harder as I get older is because the consequences are larger. Yes. And so, like, I don't want you to screw up your life and you're about to do that. So let me stop you, versus an eight-year-old, it's like, that was really dumb. You're in trouble, but it's not gonna ruin your life at this point. You're not going to jail for that yet.

Jennifer: 28:17

Yeah, but you can see little things, even with younger ones, that you've got to get your anger under control. You've got to get your temper, you've got to get this impulsivity under control. There are things that we can see in our kids that if we don't help them learn how to lean on the Lord, they're going to have trouble.

Paul: 28:39

I really like the other week in in family worship. We were talking about scripture, scripture memory, or the importance being in the word. And you talked about your daughter, what's your favorite verse?

Daniel: 28:50

Yeah.

Paul: 28:51

She knew it right away. It was a verse that dealt with fear because that's one of her areas of struggle. And so that's what we're talking about is at different ages, helping your kids interact with the way, the truth, and the life so that they can get through life.

Jennifer: 29:07

When we say put your faith into action, that doesn't necessarily mean you have to act. That could just be the thoughts in your head because that's a scary place sometimes is just what's going on in your mind.

Paul: 29:19

That's where the anger starts. Yes. That's where the impulsivity happens is you didn't slow your brain down enough to think about what would God want right here.

Jennifer: 29:26

Right.

Paul: 29:27

That's tough to bring into parenting, especially with little ones, but it's so valuable to talk about that and say, what would Jesus do right here? Yeah.

Jennifer: 29:37

And to know when to do that because you don't do it in the moment. You still have to kind of wait until they're listening to you. But those are big concepts that can be fear is another one of those. It's not necessarily putting faith into action, like I'm gonna go do this because I'm afraid, or the impulsivity is. I mean, that one you're automatically doing something. But Like to see what's kind of behind the scenes and how can we help our kids when they're young to learn the scriptures, to stop and pray, to know when to walk away from a situation, to know these things that hopefully as adults come a little more natural. But if you don't get it now, it's never going to be natural because you're not doing it ever. And to realize that that is faith in action too. It's got to start there. Does that make sense?

Paul: 30:26

Oh, yeah. I mean, because putting faith into action, I didn't want folks hopefully to think that we're talking about going out and doing stuff. That's part of it. But I'm thinking like my kids go to the gospel on their own and rethink the gospel and what it means to them. So that means they need to be able to sit in their sin struggles and figure that out and understand where true forgiveness comes from. And their true offense was against the Lord. And yet we need to discipline them as mom and dad and let them know you've offended so-and-so also. And here's the punishment. But your real sin was against the Lord and seek forgiveness through prayer, repentance, and confession of sin. I mean, all that sort of stuff. I figured out on my own as a believer to stay sane and to walk in the gospel.

Jennifer: 31:12

Yeah.

Paul: 31:13

And we got to let them do that.

Jennifer: 31:14

Yeah.

Paul: 31:15

And it's happening. We may not see it.

Jennifer: 31:17

Yeah. I think as parents, sometimes we want our kids to have our faith. I mean, right? Yeah. I want you to believe what I believe, but I don't want you to believe it just because I believe it.

Daniel: 31:26

Yeah.

Jennifer: 31:26

I want you to believe it. It has to be your own. Or like we talked about yesterday. You're not prepared in the ultimate way that you need to be prepared when Jesus comes back. My faith ain't gonna do you any good then.

Paul: 31:38

So faith conversations are so important with our kids that we ask them those questions. How are you doing? What did you learn today at church? Well, okay.

Jennifer: 31:49

Yeah.

Paul: 31:49

What are you reading in your Bible? Yes. What are you learning?

Jennifer: 31:53

And here's something I'm really struggling with. Like as a parent, my kids need to know that I'm struggling with some stuff. Here's what I'm doing, but could you pray for me too?

Daniel: 32:02

Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Here's how God's helping me overcome this thing.

Jennifer: 32:07

Yeah, but it's still hard for me. And so there's going to be things that are hard for you. Just those conversations that maybe we want to look like the strong ones to have it all together, but they're in your house. They know you don't have it all together.

Paul: 32:19

Yeah. Truly. True. And that's a great reminder. My daughter was listening, uh, Rachel was listening to some of these podcasts, and she said it was so good to hear y'all share. I can't remember which one, maybe the first one or whatever, that we've had 20, 30 years as Christians work on this. Yeah. Right. And so that's why we're talking about having quiet times consistently and beating the word daily and repentance. I mean, we've been working at this for decades. Yes. Yes. Whereas they may have only been working at it for three, four years or five, you know.

Daniel: 32:48

Yeah, they got to be patient with themselves. Yeah, we want to have the faith that we have, but they haven't gone through this struggles and the growing pains. And I think if they were to listen through wisdom, they could learn things without having to go through too much difficulty.

Jennifer: 33:03

Yes.

Daniel: 33:04

But at the same time, it's still got to be a faith of their own. They still got to make these decisions. I remember at 18, literally, I was about to go off to college and I was literally deciding, am I going to keep going with this Christ thing, or am I going to go do whatever I want to do? And so the whole summer I'd I was praying, praying up in my room, and finally felt like, you know, I felt like I had an answer. I don't think God was going to let me go anyways, but still I had to make that decision. It's crazy to go back to that moment. That was nearly 25 years ago at this point.

Jennifer: 33:33

Yeah.

Daniel: 33:33

Depending on which when my birthday actually is October 4th or October 24th. Yeah. Well, I mean, super powerful stuff. You were talking about earlier, the revival happening in this generation. At the very least, it can't happen without them. Yes. Because even if we're happening in an older generation, that spark has to be passed down and them to pick it up. But I'm seeing a shift in the world and in our nation. And people are catching on fire and they're being met with adversity. But guess what? That only just fans the flame. And so, you know, we want to be faithful at home. Um, just take what they know to be true, the faith that they've already placed in Jesus, but however we can to spark that into a blazing inferno of Jesus to where they're walking boldly telling people in the drive-thru line, Jesus loves you. That's right. Or they're serving people and letting them know also, hey, Jesus loves you. Just like you know, Paul said kind of towards the end there, is we don't want to just be in service to people without telling them about Jesus. Because I mean, I can feed a million people, but if they don't know the Lord and they die, they're gonna be separated from him for all eternity. So that's no good. Any last thoughts before we wrap up this episode? Pretty cool one. Pretty neato one. I'm good. You're good? Excellent, man. Well, thank you guys for tuning in and joining us. It's been a great time. Hopefully, you're enjoying this podcast. If you got any feedback, reach out to us. Those of you who know us, I think we got some. Do we got like a phone number? Armscrossing.com. You can leave an email. Yeah. What's this phone number? Can you read that for me, Jennifer?

Jennifer: 35:08

Yeah, 629-888-3056.

Daniel: 35:13

Yeah, if you want to call in, leave a profound insight, uh, comment, question, maybe a topic you want us to cover, that'd be great. But thank you for tuning in this week. And as always, stay anchored.